As much as I have completely disappear from the blogshere, I thought I should just pen down a few words

2010 was a pretty alright year. 

Nothing too major happened. But just minor lessons along the way.

Made some new friends. Retain and strengthened some friendship. And learn to let rid of some nasty ones.

All in all, it was a year or lessons. 

A year of learning to trust, taking responsibilities, being honest and true to oneself and believing even when times were hard.

I am proud to have made some choices. 

For the choices shape who I am and who I will be.

I pray for the best for everyone.

Good health, happiness and safety. 

That's all I pray for for everyone each time I put my two palms together and close my eyes.

For I love each and everyone of you. 

Here's to a good year.

 Disappointment after disappointment.

That's what people have been so far.

Happens when these people think too highly of themselves.

 Sebak di dada masih terasa.

Tiada yang dapat mengubahkannya. Tiada yang dapat mengubatinya.

Situasi yang sama timbul.

Perasan yang selama ini jauh di lubuk hati.

Namun, kian masa, timbul jugak.

Menjadi satu kesesakan.

Yang menyeksa.

Menyengat.

Mengkikis.

Perasaan sangsi diri.

Ini.

Amat memedihkan hati.

Tapi, tiada jalan keluar kecuali ke depan.

Mara tanpa fikir.

Kerana tiada lagi masa untuk bertukar hala.

Pilihan telah dibuat.

Kenapa suatu yang amat mengembirakan hati boleh membawa banyak keseksaan?

 I'm nearing the end of a rather different semester. 

Different in the sense that the people I see are different than before. 

And the way I view the same people I see as before is different than I view them from yesterdays.

I am secretly wishing that the end is near. 

The pass few months have been enjoyable at times but I feel rather drained. Tired. Unmotivated. Missing a trusted companion. Missing a friend whom never judges.

The constants in my life are far away. 

Perhaps I need a change from this mundane works of time.

I am tired from the predictability of it. The unnecessary childish banters.

Am in need of the Philosopher from Down Under who reads tea leaves and clouds.

Am in need of the Sweet Child of the Land of Lambs.

Even the Social Butterfly gives me a childhood comfort that no other provides.

I'm tired of present times. Am yearning for the past. Even the future comforts me more. 

Like or not, change is the only possible constant.

I say this because I see change almost every day. Sometimes in things that are visible. Sometimes in things that are moulded from random realisations.

I like it when I see positive changes happening in front of me.

Some of them are inspiring. Some of them drive me to perform better.

My close friends in college are examples of positive changes which I admire with all my heart. They are my fuel to succeed and also the very ingredient that makes college life tad bearable. Imaan is so advanced in her figure drawings now. She used to draw very feminine male figures but now they are becoming more masculine in nature without losing her sketching style. Myra is diligent in improving her figure drawings too. I see her being ever so committed in being better and it has resulted in a better quality of work. I sometimes sit back and watch both these crazy girls doing what they do best and can’t help but be inspired to sketch or just doodle. I am ever so grateful for them for I know I will be darn lazy to work if it weren’t for them.

This is the closest example of positive changes in people which I feel should be emulated. My pet peeve would be seeing someone not wanting to put the effort in doing something when he or she has all the means to perform if he or she just puts his or her head into it. Perhaps less time spent on vice could be spend on something nice.

It breaks my heart to see how negatives changes occur. They happened unexpectedly sometimes.

It might take a day for someone to just be angry at you or lose interest in you.
It might take a week for someone to suddenly give you a cold shoulder.
It might take a month for someone to just forget your existence.

If there was one thing that I could do, I would love to relive the moments and memories that have brought tremendous joy and tranquillity in my life.

However, the past is something that echoes in our hearts but will never conjure in our present life again.

Maybe my thoughts are changing every fleeting moment.

But I never lose touch of the yesterdays I have been through.

 if there was one thing i wish i could invent is a disappearing machine.

where i could enter and noone can find me.

where i can seek solace.

peace of mind.

and be alone.

and take no feelings of the outside world into it

so tat what i feel in it would be just a state of nothingness.

no feelings.

no pain. 

no pang in the chest.

and the beat in the heart. will be just a normal cardiac beat. 

no anger.resentment.hatred.confusion shall prevail.

i need the machine.

"I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences" Cellblock Tango, Chicago the Musical



Me and Livejournal. We have been together for more than six years.

And through these years, I have poured my heart and soul out here.



LJ has it goods and bads. This blog serves as a reminder and a record of all the things I have been through growing up as a teenager. 

Sometimes, just reading back the old posts here makes me laugh. I sound like someone else. 

Me laughing at the my old self is just a small sign that perhaps I have changed. I hope for the better.

I have been looking for a different avenue to channel my artistic thoughts and also publish my artwork in a clear manner. I prefer to use another blog as a fresh canvas to archive my artwork and also any artistic related articles i.e poems, songs, random scribblings, thoughts, debates, articles and any mumbo jumbo. 

I have debated this move for a long time. Been searching for the right blog host. Finally settled on this one. 

It's not really a breaking up or a transition. I am still maintaining this blog since I still got some lovely friends here. Will still write here if I need to rant on personal issues. or maybe not. 

Till then. Do check out the new blog for more updates. Forgive me if my updates are slow.

Please visit.Enjoy.Cheers!